Case Study Vanessa - Aneta Mildiani

Case Study

Vanessa

What if the partner you rely on in tragedy gives you silence instead of comfort? Vanessa’s story reveals how she faced grief and uncovered the truth about her marriage but found clarity about her future.


Each case study presented here is based on a real client experience and shared with their explicit approval.

A testimonial photo of a smiling client, happy after a love coaching session with Aneta Mildiani.

Vanessa's Story

When Vanessa reached out, she was at the lowest point of her life. She had just suffered the unimaginable loss of her baby, and in her deepest moment of grief, she turned to the one person who should have been her safe place – her husband. But instead of support, she was met with indifference, emotional distance, and a chilling lack of compassion.

For years, she had excused his emotional absence, telling herself that he loved her in his own way, that things would get better. Finally, she saw she had been alone in her marriage for far too long. And yet, the idea of leaving after everything she had been through felt overwhelming.

Desperate for clarity, she booked the SOS Love Rescue™ Session. From first minutes we focused on separating grief from obligation, understanding the reality of her marriage and taking control of her future without fear.

Goals

Helping Vanessa work through her grief and emotional turmoil, separating the loss of her child from the painful truth about her marriage.

Guiding Vanessa through a reality-based assessment of her relationship, ensuring she wasn’t making decisions based on guilt, fear, or temporary emotions.

Creating a step-by-step plan for Vanessa to move out of her marriage, regain her sense of self, and start rebuilding her life with emotional stability and strength.

Scope of Work

  1. Conducting a full crisis assessment to separate the pain of loss from the reality of Vanessa’s marriage, ensuring her decision-making came from clarity rather than emotional overwhelm.
  2. Developing emotional stabilization techniques to help Vanessa process grief, preventing self-blame and ensuring she didn’t make choices out of guilt or fear.
  3. Creating a structured framework to evaluate whether Vanessa’s marriage had ever truly provided the support, connection, and partnership she deserved.
  4. Guiding Vanessa through the decision-making process, ensuring she had the confidence and certainty to leave behind what was no longer serving her.
  5. Implementing psychological detachment techniques to help Vanessa break free from patterns of emotional dependence on a partner who had never truly been present.
  6. Providing strategies for navigating the divorce process, handling emotional conversations with Vanessa’s husband, and preparing for life on her own terms.
  7. Equipping Vanessa with tools for rebuilding her self-worth, ensuring she never settled for emotional neglect again.
  8. Delivering a personalized plan for long-term healing, helping Vanessa move forward without resentment or regret, focused only on her own peace and happiness.
Graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 1, with a notebook, pen, and pink 'like' bubbles. A 'STEP 1' badge is in the corner.

Conducting a full crisis assessment

Vanessa was trapped in overwhelming emotions, unable to separate her grief from the reality of her marriage. Losing her baby was devastating enough, but her husband’s lack of support exposed deeper issues she had ignored for years. Instead of being a source of comfort, he became distant and emotionally unavailable, confirming what she had long suspected but had been afraid to admit.

By stepping back from the emotional storm, Vanessa saw a clear pattern – her husband had never been truly present for her and his behavior now was simply a reflection of who he had always been. This distinction was crucial, as it prevented her from making impulsive decisions based on temporary pain and instead helped her focus on long-term clarity.

Through this process, Vanessa realized that staying was not an act of loyalty, but an act of self-destruction. With this awareness, she was able to see beyond the immediate heartbreak and start taking steps toward the future.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 2. Features a stylized brain with a heart inside, and three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it. A 'STEP 2' badge is in the corner. This image represents the coaching phase focused on mindset, inner work, and self-love.

Developing emotional stabilization techniques

Grief and guilt had become Vanessa’s biggest obstacles, keeping her paralyzed. She felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for her marriage and her husband’s lack of engagement. The weight of these emotions made it impossible for her to make decisions.

To help her regain stability, we introduced emotional regulation techniques that allowed her to process her pain without being consumed by it. She learned how to separate self-blame from reality, ensuring that she didn’t take responsibility for things that were never hers to carry.

She no longer felt like she was drowning. Instead of being consumed by grief, she found a way to honor her pain while still moving forward. This emotional stability became the foundation for every decision she would make next, allowing her to navigate her situation with strength rather than desperation.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 3. It features a stylized lab flask with hearts, three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it, and a 'STEP 3' badge.

Creating a framework for relationship evaluation

Leaving a marriage after years of investment is never an easy decision, even when the signs are clear. Vanessa needed objective confirmation that this was the right step. We created a relationship evaluation framework, where she examined her husband’s emotional patterns, support systems and engagement levels.

This exercise eliminated any remaining doubts. The evidence was undeniable. Her husband had never been her emotional partner. She had carried the weight of the relationship alone, and now, she could no longer pretend otherwise.

Instead of basing her decision on a single painful moment, Vanessa saw the full picture of her marriage, making it clear that walking away was not an emotional reaction, but an act of self-preservation.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 4. It features a heart made of four puzzle pieces, three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it, and a 'STEP 4' badge.

Guiding through the decision-making process

Even after realizing the truth, Vanessa was still afraid of taking the final step. She worried about whether she was strong enough to leave, if she would regret it later, or if she was being unfair to her husband by walking away in such a difficult time. The fear of the unknown was the only thing holding her back.

To remove this fear, we structured her decision-making process step by step. Instead of overwhelming her with the idea of divorce all at once, we focused on small, manageable actions. From having an internal commitment to leaving, to preparing herself emotionally and taking practical steps.

By the time Vanessa reached the moment of separation, she felt emotionally prepared, secure in her decision, and in full control of the process. She was no longer leaving out of anger or despair, but from a place of self-respect.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 5. It features a stylized lightbulb with a heart inside, three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it, and a 'STEP 5' badge.

Implementing detachment techniques

Years of emotional neglect had conditioned Vanessa to believe that she had to earn her husband’s love and attention. She had always been the one trying harder, fixing problems, and making sacrifices in hopes that things would change. Walking away felt unnatural because she had spent so long believing that staying and trying was her role.

We implemented psychological detachment techniques. She learned how to reframe her thoughts, shifting from “What if he changes?” to “Why wasn’t he willing to change before?” It removed the illusions.

This process allowed Vanessa to detach without resentment, ensuring that she wasn’t walking away fueled by anger, but by clarity. The more she embraced this mindset, the lighter she felt. For the first time in years, she no longer felt responsible for someone else’s lack of effort.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 6. It features a map icon with a heart-shaped location pin, three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it, and a 'STEP 6' badge.

Providing strategies for the divorce process

Once Vanessa was emotionally ready to leave, she needed a practical strategy for navigating the divorce itself. Ending a marriage isn’t just about legal actions. It requires emotional closure and handling social factors in a way that minimizes stress.

We mapped out a plan for each stage of separation, from discussing the divorce with her husband to organizing financial independence. Since her husband had always been emotionally detached, we prepared for his likely reactions. This preparation allowed Vanessa to handle each conversation with composure.

By following this approach, she never felt overwhelmed or powerless during the process. Instead, she remained in full control, ensuring that her transition out of the marriage was handled on her terms.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 7. It features a pair of hands holding a group of hearts, three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it, and a 'STEP 7' badge.

Equipping with tools for rebuilding self-worth

After years in an emotionally unfulfilling marriage, Vanessa had lost sight of who she was outside of her role as a wife. She had spent so much time prioritizing her husband’s needs, making excuses for his emotional absence, and convincing herself that love meant enduring hardship, that she no longer recognized what true partnership should feel like.

Through structured exercises, Vanessa learned how to separate self-sacrifice from real love, allowing her to release the guilt that had kept her stuck in a toxic relationship. She practiced setting new standards for what she expected, so that she would never again accept emotional neglect as “normal.”

As Vanessa’s confidence grew, she no longer viewed her divorce as a failure. Instead, she saw it as a step toward reclaiming her own life. She realized that love should feel like mutual support, not emotional starvation.

A graphic for Aneta Mildiani's coaching Step 8. It features a heart with an infinity symbol inside, three pink 'like' bubbles floating above it, and a 'STEP 8' badge.

Delivering a plan for long-term healing

While the divorce was a major turning point, Vanessa needed to ensure that she wouldn’t fall into emotional setbacks or moments of doubt in the future. The weight of grief, past conditioning and the fear of being alone could easily create moments where she second-guessed her decision.

We developed a step-by-step healing roadmap, tailored to Vanessa’s personal needs. This included techniques for managing emotional triggers, ensuring that she could process moments of sadness without spiraling into regret. We focused on developing new daily habits, from mindfulness exercises to structured self-care routines, to reinforce her sense of stability.

By following this structured plan, Vanessa wasn’t just moving on, but she was actively rebuilding her life with intention. She no longer feared the future; instead, she embraced it with confidence and excitement.

Results

Vanessa successfully processed her grief and emotional pain, allowing her to heal without guilt or self-blame.

Vanessa gained full clarity on her marriage, recognizing that leaving was not an emotional reaction, but the healthiest choice for her future.

After few months, Vanessa finalized her divorce, stepping into her new life with strength, dignity, and a deep sense of self-worth.

Aneta Mildiani, a relationship coach, is seated at her desk, dressed in a pink blazer. Next to her is a calculator and a vase of white roses. The image includes text promoting a client testimonial video, saying 'The Heart Always Finds Its Way' and 'Listen to the story in my client's own words!'

Vanessa’s Testimonial

„After losing my baby I realized my husband showed no compassion and I was completely alone, so I turned to Aneta for help. She gave me the strength to leave a one-sided marriage, and today while I still grieve my child I no longer grieve a man who was never truly there.”

Vanessa

Dubai, UAE

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